I crowdfunded this album on Kickstarter, and one of the reward levels was a custom song that I would write for the buyer. Almost everything I’ve ever written has been in my own voice and about my own experience, so I was a little nervous to take this on. But when I met M.J. on Zoom, we hit it off immediately, and we had so much overlap in our stories. This is her story, but damn if I can’t relate.
Lyrics
Where did I come from and where am I going
Where is a mother to show me the way
Held in my body, a lifetime of knowing
This pain is the price I must pay
So many questions, each one forbidden
I was taught only to listen and trust
I learned to keep my truest self hidden
So deferential and hushed
So where do I begin
Gasping for breath where the air is thin
Who I am both in spite and because of where I’ve been
Can I start again
I am a traveler, finding my pathway
Emerging from expectations left behind
Stamp out the past like a stub in an ashtray
From now on the choices are mine
But how do I begin
At long last inhabiting my own skin
Who I am both in spite and because of where I’ve been
Can I start again
I know that I will stand
With or without a friend
Cause I am a mother to myself
And anyone else who needs to start again
So here’s where I begin
Holding the hand of the child within
Who we are both in spite and because of where we’ve been
But we can start again